He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Drake has all the answers
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
