Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
