I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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