why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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