So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize