Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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