there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
