I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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