Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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