This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize