Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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