Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
