Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
