I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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