glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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