So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
