so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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