is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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