i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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