Can Purell be used as lube?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
