So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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