im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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