oh good, I think they're gone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.