Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.

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  (850): We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie. http://tfl.nu/ozoq
  Replies (19) Good night (1270) Bad night (3149)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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  (203): We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won. http://tfl.nu/1h1c
  Replies (39) Good night (9380) Bad night (1097)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7715) Bad night (869)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.

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  (308): whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on. http://tfl.nu/zd9d
  Replies (28) Good night (1340) Bad night (5384)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

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  (904): Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened. http://tfl.nu/0eyi
  Replies (10) Good night (1064) Bad night (5399)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"

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  (724): she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it" http://tfl.nu/sq67
  Replies (9) Good night (5836) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

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  (718): I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!" http://tfl.nu/wp1u
  Replies (29) Good night (8422) Bad night (1270)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...

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  (801): If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy... http://tfl.nu/s54g
  Replies (14) Good night (3946) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.

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  (914): Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game. http://tfl.nu/xx77
  Replies (15) Good night (3355) Bad night (832)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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  (973): The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave. http://tfl.nu/0jfg
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise

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  (410): I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON (908): Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise http://tfl.nu/ujsf
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.

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  (425): I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet. http://tfl.nu/8dod
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?

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  (408): I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win? http://tfl.nu/gfqe
  Replies (12) Good night (828) Bad night (399)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad

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  (843): I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad http://tfl.nu/ivow
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

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  (408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (336)

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