she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
