My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
