There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
