Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize