i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Green mimosas i think yes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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