I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize