the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
