I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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