you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Randomize
