Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
