Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
