obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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