Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
