this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
