Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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