Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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