I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
