It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
