quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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