I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize