apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
