Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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