So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
