ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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