we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize