so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
