yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
