3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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