I would go down on you faster than GM stock
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
