dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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