Pants 0. Shit 1.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
