you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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