i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
