i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is Oprah even human
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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