Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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