honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
