yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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