Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
